Wednesday, July 8, 2015


It will "Come in Waves" they tell you. Oh how naive I was before this huge loss. How I wish I was still naive. 

You're cooking in the kitchen enjoying a Saturday...children playing happily in the playroom. You are following a recipe on Pinterest. Your hubby doing yardwork...all is well but the Grief Wave is about to hit.You click over casually to the Instagram Feed. You see a post of a mother and daughter on a shopping trip. The Wave hits knocking you to your beckon your hubby inside and retreat to the closet to let the wave loose. Your hysterics can be heard through the walls. Your hubby slowly opens the door pulls you to your feet and holds you. That is all he can do. There is nothing anyone can do.

You cry all during church. You feel HIS presence the strongest there he won't let you hide from the pain in HIS house. You tell your hubby you don't want to see anyone. You make a run for the door. A friend jumps out "hi friend!" She says. You come unglued. She pulls you in the corner. You cry together. HE is with you. Comforting you. HE put that friend there at that exact moment. You need her.

Your driving alone in the say out loud over and over again, "I miss you, Mom. I love you, Mom." The tears are praying that she can hear you.

You are in a grouchy mood when your hubby gets home from work. He asks you what is wrong. You tell him "I don't know." When the truth is...if you spoke the truth out loud "I miss my mom." You would come unglued. Saying "I don't know" is safer.

Your daughters wipe your tears away. The roles have reversed. "We want our Mimi back." They look to the heavens, "Come back down here, Mimi." Your heart breaks. They will forget her soon being so young. I do love how they speak of her always. They aren't afraid of upsetting you. They speak the truth.

The funeral is over. Everyone goes back to their normal lives. The calls stop, the texts stop. The anger stirs. I'm am so sad how can you be so happy.

The friends who do continue to reach out are the friends who have been here before. Who know the pain lingers on way after the "closure" of a funeral. I'm not happy to of joined the club. I'm so thankful for those friends who aren't "scared" of me.

You dream of her. You talk with her. You wake and your heart breaks again.

Friend's and even Family don't mention HER for fear to upset you. But not mentioning HER is even more upsetting. I can't blame them...that's how I handled it too before knowing this devastating loss.

My God, Hubby, and my Girls keep the light glowing. The world is a different place, though. A lonely place. You can fill the small splash in the pit of your stomach ALWAYS. You can be laughing/smiling. But the splash is still there....and another WAVE will come soon. GRIEF.

I love you, Mom.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Birthday and Mother's Day

Greg's "well loved" made Birthday cake! :) Greg's birthday was May 4th! We had a family birthday the Saturday before filled with Bowling and Cake!! Then Greg and I had a date night on his actual birthday...we went to Chewy's for dinner and then shopping at Trader Joe's! :) 

"Whatcha got there Rylee?"

Mother's Day Weekend
This weekend we went to Lake Cherokee for our dear friend Brock's wedding. He worked with Greg at Vaquero and spent a couple Christmas's with us since his family lives in Tennessee. Anywho...Rory just adores him. She loved spending time with him at the Golf Course. They just love Brock! Anywho he got hitched this weekend...and we stayed at there families lake house with The Goodyk's...another wonderful family from the Vaquero Days. It was just the best time!!! :)


Greg, Brock, Brandon, and Brannon! All Golf Course SUPERS!!
PS I think Rory is yelling at Rylee for stealing her chips in this pic! :)

Candy Bar? Yes please!!

The Beautiful Bride...Amanda aka Princess Amanda

Thank you to Gregory for making my dreams come true with these sweet angels!
I'm so glad God chose me to be their Mommy!!

A Flower Surprise for Me! :) 

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Aunt Lisa and Uncle Rick's :)

We had a fun day at Aunt Lisa and Uncle Rick's! Cousin Jayden was visiting from California. The kids had a blast feeding horses, tractor rides, exploring, playing on the swing set, blowing bubbles, helping (cheering on) Uncle Rick while he cleaned up the brush from the storms. It was a great morning! :) 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Kindergarten Round Up Today!!

Meet the newest little Trailblazer..Rory Hammerlun!! We had Kindergarten Round Up this morning! Not too Exciting...just paperwork! But Rory seemed super excited about going which made us so happy! We are looking forward to meet the teacher night in August! I may of gotten carried away by signing up to help with Book Fair's, Holiday parties, and Photography for yearbook!! It's all just so exciting! :)

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Nana and Papa Treat!!

We had a special visit from Nana and Papa on Thursday and Friday! They treated us for dinner at Chili's on Thursday night and then they took the girls to the Zoo on Friday morning. I met them at the zoo and then I hit the Trinity Trails for a walk and read my book! It was such a nice relaxing time and I'm so thankful that they spent that special time with them. :) They loved it!!

Chili's :)

Trinity Trails :)


Wednesday, April 1, 2015


The Library had a bunny petting zoo today!! Rylee was very "hands on" with the bunnies (she may or may not of been reprimanded by the petting zoo lady)...Rory was a little more cautious. (Especially when the large bunnies hopped toward her. :)) It was a special treat! They loved it! And me too! I want a bunny!! :)
They actually let me dress them in the same shirts today! I was very excited! :)

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Park Glen Easter Egg Hunt

Our Neighborhood had there annual Easter Egg Hunt Saturday...Greg had to work Saturday morning so I bravely decided to go solo. :) We had a lot of fun! And the girls were little angels until halfway through the stroller ride home Rylee ran out of Candy and screamed "More Candy!" over and over the last half mile home. :)

Ready to go!! 

Not the best bunny pic! The sun was blinding them...but no tears! :)

This was a tad scary to watch...if one kid fell the whole lot of them were going down with them! lol.

They were dancing up a storm while waiting for the Egg Hunt to start!

And Go!!! :)